I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Medicine hack, old crowe and ramen flavor packets isnt a cure for the cold.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Randomize
