last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
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