He is an equal opportunity slut.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
