I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Slipping me an edible before my ochem final was not your brightest idea. Looks like I'm switching to business.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I have so many feelings about this burrito
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
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