Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
Randomize
