my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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