i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I just realized I consumed seven different types of alcohol this weekend. And I'm only counting jungle juice as one of those. How the fuck did I not die?
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Listen, I love you but you cannot refer to your dick as the holy sister anymore
Randomize
