it's not cheating when I paid for it
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
WHO GIVES HANDJOBS AT 8 IN THE FUCKING MORNING
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
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