OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
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