The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
