The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
we found his I.D. in the upstairs bathroom...under a towel in a hidden pile of snacks from her kitchen
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
I wiped my ass with some girl's sock, I would honestly admit if I hate Caitlin's sandwich.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
