And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
