bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize