god please explain to me why there's blood underneath my fingernails AND toenails?!?!
Dude To be completely honest I don't think you want me to.
I was in holding with a guy that got a DUI on a hover round. He was so nice. We're hanging out tonight.
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
Holy sore nipples Batman
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
