i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I sent him a pic of my tits.. All he said was, "oh your sun burn"
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize