I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
They tried. Someone started to yell beer shower but he spun around and punched them in the mouth before they even finished saying beer. He's a fast little drunk.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
Randomize
