I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
