and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Randomize
