I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
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