Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize