google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I can't put those talents on a resume
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize