I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
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