party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
Randomize