we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
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