I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
Couch. On fire.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
