Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Okay. But I hope it isn't expensive lingerie. Because I'm ripping it off Hulk Hogan style.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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