these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
The party tonight has no theme but I decided to go as a home wrecker.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
well i just set every background of each phone in the verizon store to my face
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
