Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
He says he quit drinking. I'd like to have a moment of silence for losing the best drunken hookup ever. We will build a memorial to his awesome cock.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
I can feel your judgement through the phone
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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