I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
Randomize
