i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Three people drank on "never have I had sex in a tractor." Iowa at its best?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
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