you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
Randomize
