I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
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