Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
