Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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