We're facebook friends in real life
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
Randomize
