I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
oh my god, i just wanna eat cake off your dick
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
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