Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Randomize
