Duck Duck Cougar?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
dude thats like the second time shes peed on the couch at a party. we cant invite her anymore
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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