if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
