we are at a mexican restaurant and the tv is playing mexican porn. dad won't stop watching.
Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I need to beat up a magician now. BRB.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
