I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
i'm extremely hungover on the ski bus and the driver is playing abba. this. is. not. okay.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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