She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
