i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Randomize
