I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
It was darkish out, I was shit faced, and they should have marked the electric fence a little more clearly. The entire wedding reception saw me run full force into it
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
