cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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