im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Fat girl left in a hurry. Possibly had to do with the missing bathroom door in my apartment.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Who died my cat blue again?
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Randomize
