Jerry, you need to find god
i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
