Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
my six pack is really starting to show since I started fucking everything that moves
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
Randomize
