dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Of course I have a pirate flag
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
Randomize
