There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
