I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
So I'm at early voting and the group of ladies behind me is talking about voting no on 2 and my gummy is kicking in, thank lawd
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
