i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I just wish I had a snapshot of his attempted front flip off the bar. There are some things that are worth getting a life ban for, and the moment of impact with his foot and that lady's face was one of those things.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Randomize
