I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
If she wasn't my friend I'd think she was a huge slut
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
