woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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