its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize