i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Randomize
