Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
