do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
