Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
