i was rollin on her like bob the builder
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
