I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
