So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
I just tipped the cab driver with pistachio nuts. And he loved it.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
