Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I figured out plans for New Year's and by figuring out I mean I've got a sugar bowl of cocaine. Start at 10?
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
He also deemed that the fact that I couldn't log into Netflix was not an emergency. He's wrong.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
