found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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