We named our party play list daddy issues
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Randomize
