Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I understand Curling. That high.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
Randomize
