It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
