Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
