I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
