Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Randomize
