the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
She throws back shots like they are NO-THING. I swear, she goes through like five straight tequila shots, does a jello shot, chases with half a hot dog, has a rum and coke, and then takes her shirt off and makes an impromptu bandage out of it for fuckin' Tim who cut himself on the flagpole. I'm going to marry her.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize